Mothers Just Know

5/6/2025

In my book, Mother’s Day should be “everyday”! Even though we honor and dedicate a significant day in May with gifting, breakfast in bed, brunch, spa gift certificates, manis-pedis, special dinners out and tons of love, is it ever enough?

As we all know, being a mother is a 24/7 role. My motto is "once a mom always a mom". And I don’t know many moms who don’t answer the call of duty when their child, be them wee-little ones or grown-up ones, need them for “anything”.

Photography: Coral Dove Studios

As a wedding planner, I am privileged to witness moms as they show up to support their children in their milestone step of marriage. I meet some at the start of our work, and others the day before the wedding at the rehearsal, depending on how our couples chose to involve their parents in the process. Regardless of when or how, there is one common observation and that is that each-and-every mom will go to any length to make sure that the wedding day is a perfect as possible and that their child’s dreams are met. They are selfless in their pursuit to please their children and to insure their happiness.

Photography:
Top row, left to right: Tracy Jade Photography (2), Coral Dove Studios and Olya Vysotskaya Photography
Bottom row, left to right: Brian David Photography, Forged in the North and Olya Vysotskaya Photography

I recall as I planned my wedding, my mother’s quest was to help me navigate what this day would evolve into. I was so fortunate that she took my lead (despite how controlling she could be) while guiding me with insight and practicality. This was long before couples had planners and in hindsight, I realized she gave me my first instruction in Wedding Planning 101.

When we were shopping for my wedding gown, and on our 4th visit to shops, I saw her smile before I looked at myself in the mirror and I knew immediately that this was the gown I would wear on my day. She just got me and I’ll admit, 99% of the time she was right. I still appreciate that she always let me arrive in my own time without insisting her way was the only way. I did eventually learn that her way often saved me many steps.

Yet, moms also have “their” things when it comes to what’s important on day-of. My mom was obsessed with the caterer and making sure that the food and service was on pointe. She took great pride in being the “Queen of the Kitchen” so it makes sense that this would be her mission control on our day. For some reason (which I chose to forget), she was obsessed with the harvest table. At the start of cocktails she pulled me aside, infuriated about some detail that was overlooked. I was too relaxed and too happy to care about her plight. It would have been the perfect time to have a planner step in to defuse my mother’s rage, so I just had to walk away and let her get over it. Side note: On a wedding day, the rule and still is, the bride gets to do whatever she wants.

After cocktails were over and my mom calmed herself down, I recall that her joy was first and foremost centered around my joy and the ease I felt as a new bride in my cotton damask gown (which she starched and ironed to perfection the morning-of). She also lit up to see how beautiful the oak paneled dining room looked dressed for dinner, how the early fall gardens glistened gold on a sunny October day. After her gin and tonic and sitting to a perfectly cooked and presented dinner, she was ready to enjoy her night and not worry about mine.
I recall seeing her dance with my brother as if she was dancing on a cloud with the brightest smile ever. And as the night went on, being with, laughing and talking to her lifelong girlfriends as if they were teenagers having a blissful night out on the town. She worked the room in totality and made sure that she had time with everyone. She LOVED people and she always took time to connect. She was for sure a social butterfly.

On my wedding day and while witnessing my clients with their mothers on their wedding days, I am invariably moved to tears by the power of “mothering”. They are no greater bonds as there are with mothers, their sons or their daughters and, on a day, as special as this one, it shines so magnificently bright.

Photography:
Top row, left to right: Autumn Jordan Photography (2) and Brian David Photography
Bottom row, left to right: Joshua Brown Photography (2) and Jessie Casey Photography

I realized once I became a mother, and after I lost my mother, how much we take for granted when it comes to our mothers. Moms are so often called to duty, and most do it with sheer love and dedication, an endearing smile, letting you believe that perhaps they were put on this earth to serve only you at your whim. I know my mother did. She never denied me anytime I needed her and she often anticipated my needs before I even knew what they were. Never a complaint. Yet how often does a mother get to feel as if she is free to just be the woman she once knew when she had no responsibilities to anyone but herself, the freedom to do whatever makes her happy at any given moment? I think now, not nearly enough.

Photography:
Left to right: Adam Okimatsu Photography, Jessie Casey Photography and Tracy Jade Photography

On this Mother’s Day and throughout the year, my hope is that ALL mothers can experience the appreciation and love that they so deeply deserve from their families and that they feel empowered to serve themselves as much as they serve others.

I will be forever grateful to my mom for all she did to ensure my happiness in life. And for her unconditional love from the day we first set eyes upon each other to the day her eyes closed.

I am forever grateful to my Amelia, who makes me feel like every day is Mother’s Day. Her sweet gratitude, love and kindness is a daily constant as I try my best to be as good a mom to her as my mom was to me. I am so proud to be hers.